When I had my heart attacks, I was brought to my knees and knew I had to change. Before my heart attacks, my life looked perfect from the outside. I was happily married and owned a beautiful home. I was a published poet, was working in my dream job as a screenwriter, and I’d just signed to a London agent.

But inside I felt empty, deadened. I was a robot going through the motions. For weeks at a time I was travelling for 3 hours each morning and each evening to get to my job as a screenwriter. I was exhausted and had no time to see my loved ones. I was grieving from losing my father to cancer. I wanted to start a family of my own but I soon realised there was something wrong. All the medical interventions started taking their toll. When I finally did fall pregnant I was over the moon, but I lost my baby at 9 weeks and was completely devastated.

The only thing I could do was keep going, because I was afraid that if I stopped I would have a breakdown. The mask had to crack. In 2011 at the age of 43, with no warning, I had two heart attacks in a week. My life fell apart.

But during my second heart attack I had a moment of epiphany that changed my life. I knew I could choose to close my eyes and go - because I knew without doubt that my body might ‘die’ but ‘I’ would go on; ‘I’ would continue to exist somewhere else, in some other form. I thought about it for a moment. How beautiful it would be to let the pain go and feel peace. But I knew whatever I came here to do, I hadn’t done it yet. In that moment, I faced death and chose to live.

I was no longer afraid of dying. I was afraid of not living. I went searching for a deeper meaning to life, the truth beyond the everyday that I’d experienced. I had to journey inside me to discover how to truly live instead of merely exist.

I read every self-help book available, started to meditate, went to angel classes, shamanic classes, psychic awareness classes – anything that could help me heal. I started a daily routine of meditation and through this I connected with something more. I felt the divine presence of my angels and spirit guides. And finally, after years of being too angry to speak to God, I reconnected to the love of my Divine Source.

I trained as an Integrated Energy Therapist energy healer and built up a very close relationship with my healing guide. I would let his beautiful healing energy flow through me when healing others. My guide would give me messages to pass on to others to help them with their problems. He then tapped into my writing abilities and channelled a book on healing through me. I experienced what The Law of Attraction’s Esther Hicks describes as that feeling of ‘being breathed’.

Other divine teachers now work with me and connect with me to channel messages of love, wisdom and spiritual guidance, both verbally and through writing. I work most closely with Jesus, who has become a teacher, friend and mentor. I also work closely with Mary Magdalene, with angelic energies, and with God.

They all pass on the same core message – you already are a perfect soul, everything you need is inside you, turn within you for the answers, know you are divinely loved, remember you are a being of divine love, and live to your fullest potential now.